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16th April 2010

10:36pm: Catching Up
There's a lot I need to catch up on. I have a lot of Six Flags memories to write down. I don't want to lose them. I wish I were back this summer.

I'm at a weird place right now. Looking for steady work. I hope it comes soon, but that's all on me. I'm getting by okay with gigs.

I need to get my life together.

25th December 2009

1:54pm: I miss my Emerson friends.

27th June 2009

1:30am: 5A Hunting
Today was the first time I worked this season that Charlies went down. It was raining when I got into work, but stopped before I had to go on the midway. I was able to get my first show in. The three foot balloon really draws people in, but most of them leave after it deflates. Once I have an amp and music, it should get better.

I was also able to get in a stroll through Rockville and DC. My new favorite bit is to get stuck in the phone booth.

When I got in from that, a 5A got called in. Someone pinched Bug's ass. Mike and I went 5A hunting. We walked all the way down to Batman's entrance trying to find a girl matching the description. We found Vera, and Mike started trailing a girl that matched the description. He stopped her and got an ID, then security came to take over. It was quite fun hunting her down.

4:00 Rock turned into a 4:00 Meet and Greet due to rain. After a little while, Charlies went down. It was lightning pretty hard. My last stroll was late starting, when the weather changed to Bravo status. My second show was canceled when we went back to Charlies, and the park ended up closing at 7:00.

29th May 2009

1:27am: SFNE 5-28
I started work today, and it was good to be back. It was a great day, and I hope I have more great days like this during the summer.

I brought my trunk into the park, and went in through the brown doors so I could walk with Paul, who was helping Captain Cold. We had a nice interaction. When I saw Ashley helping Daffy, she started jumping up and down and ran over to give me a hug. I missed her.

I had a great first interaction on the midway. I went out with my bag and pump, and walked up to the gazebo to find a family of three. I sat down and made some small talk, asking about their food. I told them I'd trade three pieces of popcorn for balloons. They agreed, so I juggled the pieces of popcorn, caught them in my mouth, and made their son an alien with a ray gun.

The weather was really cloudy, and I was able to make decent things because the park was pretty empty, aside from school groups. There were a bunch of kids from Quebec, and I made them some pretty cool things. One kid asked for Michael Jackson, so I made it. During that time, some kid started playing Beat It on the Guitar Hero game. It worked out way too well.

I hope I have more days that are just as fun as today. A bit more energy all around would be great, but I had fun.

17th May 2009

2:28am: I Got Fucked by KB
I wake up at 8:30 this morning. I go to rehearsal for the EVVYs. After a few hours Jeff pulls me aside and tells me that the show is a few minutes too long, and that my Stand Up Comedy performance might get cut. We're going to rehearse it anyway to see how it goes.

The rehearsal ends up getting cut. Kevin says it's out. They're gonna try to have me help warm up the audience and win the award onstage. Okay.

For the next few hours, no one knows what the fuck is going on. Eventually, Dan and I work out something for the warm up. I fight hard to get an aisle walk up to accept my award.

Show time comes. Dan and I are to do our thing, then Kevin is gonna do a thirty second thing of his own. He then decides he's gonna go on first. His thirty second thing turns into three minutes, and even the stagehands have a hard time trying to get him off. Dan does his thing, and by the time he gets to introduce me, there's two minutes before we're gonna get kicked off. I decide to say fuck it. I'm not gonna get cut off in the middle of my act.

I threw away all my props and just brought a single balloon out and did the sharp hair joke. Then Dan finished with the house rules, until told us the time was up. Show starts.

I did get to accept my award. I did get to make my walk up. They threw Jack in stage to present the award, and he gave a really great introduction. I gave my speech and walked off.

It makes me mad, the organization I poured myself into throughout college, the organization I gave so much to, fucked me over in my last experience with it. I'm having a hard time placing the blame. It probably lies with Kevin. It pretty much does.

I think what I'm mad at the most is how much of a joke the EVVYs were compared to what they were when I started. This would have never happened when I was a freshmen. The show isn't the same. All the tradition died when Pete left. No one knows what the EVVY Awards used to be. This is sad.

I doubt I'll ever receive a formal apology, or even a thank you note. I mean, what the fuck, who am I, why should I be demanding any of this? But I've given a lot to this organization over the past four years. It hurts me the most that my last experience with the EVVYs had to be such a negative one. That's incredibly sad. I thought you were better than that, EVVY Awards.

16th May 2009

1:17pm: I just got cut from the EVVYs.

15th May 2009

1:35am: Never
I'm never going to get any.

I know this is the opposite of positive affirmation, and I know that saying this only hurts my chances, but I'm never going to get any. It's just a fact.

I'm never going to get any.

It was the last big giant fucking asshole kids party.

I might miss them a little.

Never going to get any.

I hang out with way too many girls.

I do way too many girly things.

That's a weird word, girls.

What do I do?




Join Ringling?

This is the most major decision I've ever had to make.

It's gonna impact the rest of my life.

This sucks.

But I have to make it.

I wanna kill myself.

Man does this suck.

I don't want to have to decide.

I wish I knew what I was gonna do.

Four days until I graduate.

Then what?

I have no idea.

I wish I knew.

I hate this.

But one thing is true.

It's not a joke, it's the truth.

It's not a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It's the truth.

I'm never gonna get any.



I'm kinda accepting it.

But it's never gonna happen.




2nd May 2009

2:04am: Every. Single. Time.
They're ALWAYS taken.

28th April 2009

12:13am: Done
I had my last college class tonight. I am done with school. That's a scary thought.

I wasn't nominated for any EVVYs. Fuck. Whatever.

In the past few weeks I have affirmed a few things:

If I am going to become successful in film/TV editing, which is what I'm currently pursuing, I'm going to pretty much have to give up everything else. Balloons. Friends. Women (yeah right, like I had any to begin with.) I figure, I'll give this my all for ten years, then when I become sick and want out, I'll get out.

I wish I knew what I want to do.

26th March 2009

10:50pm: Panic Switch
The sooner I tell myself this and the sooner it is repeated to me, the sooner I can move on (to what?)

It will probably never work out. She doesn't like me in that way. As amazing as she is, the feeling isn't mutual. I am grateful to have her in my life right now, but come graduation, I will probably never see her again.

2nd March 2009

10:22am: I am so lonely.

31st January 2009

2:48pm: Manliness in Relation to Dougs
[X] You love hoodies.
[X] You love jeans.
[X] Dogs are better than cats.
[X] It's hilarious when people get hurt.
[X] You've played with/against boys on a team.
[X] Shopping is torture.
[ ] Sad movies suck.
[ ] You own an X-Box.
[ ] Played with Hotwheels cars as a kid.
[ ] At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
[ ] You own a DS, PS2 or Sega.
[ ] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
[X] You watch sports on TV.
[X] Gory movies are cool.
[X] You go to your dad for advice.
[X] You own like a trillion baseball caps.
[ ] You like going to football games.
[X] You used to/do collect baseball cards.
[X] Baggy pants are cool to wear.
[X] It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
[X] Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
[X] You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
[X] Sports are fun.
[X] Talk with food in your mouth.

Total = 17

Your Girl Side

[ ] You wear lip gloss.
[ ] You love to shop.
[ ] You wear eyeliner.
[X] You have some of the same shirts in different colors.
[ ] You wear the color pink.
[ ] Go to your mom for advice.
[ ] You consider cheerleading a sport.
[ ] You hate wearing the color black.
[ ] You like hanging out at the mall.
[ ] You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
[ ] You like wearing jewelry.
[ ] Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
[ ] Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
[ ] You don't like the movie Star Wars.
[ ] You are/were in cheerleading, gymnastics or dance.
[X] It takes you around 1 hour to shower, get dressed,/ and put on make-up and accessories.
[ ] You smile a lot more than you should. (Way, way more!)
[ ] You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
[X] You care about what you look like.
[ ] You like wearing dresses when you can.
[X] You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
[ ] Used to play with dolls as little kid.
[ ] Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy of it.
[ ] Like taking pictures of yourself with your cell phone/camera when you're bored.

Total = 4

I am more manly than Perry Douglas, but less manly than Horak Douglas.

11th December 2008

8:05am: Can I Break the Spell?
Why must I always want something I can't have?

16th September 2008

2:02am: I am a Banana
Today I was eating Yoplait yogurt. If you know the container shape, you know that it's more narrow at the top than the bottom. We have large spoons in our apartment and they barely fit into the container. I paused and thought to myself that this is the only time in my life where I can say, and mean, "my spoon is too big."

We also got rid of the Bomb today. That thing was as old as I am.

8th July 2008

1:13am: I'm feeling burnt out, bored, and uninspired
In reference to Six Flags, and life in general.

8th March 2008

7:17pm: Today is my 21st Birthday
Today I went to visit grandma and went to Mr. Loebell's show opening.

Today is my 21st birthday.

My life is pathetic.

8th February 2008

1:02am: It's Over
Well, I tried. I failed, but I tried.

4th February 2008

2:11am: In another life, I'm going to be a bird magician
I have some really great things going on in my life. I'm doing a lot of things that will hopefully be really good for my career. I'm pretty lucky.

Unfortunately, I'm bad at girls. I'm getting so frustrated and have no idea what to do. It makes me hurt.

25th December 2007

2:32pm: Christmas
Today for Christmas I got:

I think I've reached the point in my life where the things I want for Christmas can't be bought.

14th November 2007

2:08am: Strike!
So, the WGA is on strike. If you don't know about it, read all about it here: http://unitedhollywood.com

Here's what I've been doing to help the efforts of the WGA:

So Thursday night, we were going to discuss the strike at the EVVYs meeting, so I made a balloon picket sign. For shits and giggles, I sent it to unitedhollywood.com. Maybe they'd get a kick out of it. Sunday morning, I wake up to this:


Excellent. There was also information about the stikes for this week. Monday was "bring your child to strike day," so I thought, why not provide some entertainment. If I were in LA now, I'd totally be on the picket lines every day, but since I'm not, I'd have to hire a replacement. I called up Suzanne, and she agreed to do it. I sent her to NBC studios in Burbank for a couple hours, and she said that the entertainment was well-received. On the back of her cards she printed "Strike entertainment provided by Rob Balchunas - film student" and my contact info. She also printed out my strike photo and taped it to her bag, and some people recognized it from the blog. So far I haven't received any thank yous personally, but Suzanne said that the strikers really appreciated it. Will it be worth the investment? Who knows. I haven't found any reports of this on any blogs, but I did find some photos on Flickr:


9th November 2007

6:34pm: ...
...and I'm going to LA Spring 2009!
2:25pm: Getting High
I now own stilts. SIIs. Magnesium. They're so freakin' light. I can kick in them and stuff. Now I just need to practice dancing/Party. That would be something. I tried them all the way at 40 inches, but I can't even stand all the way up in my apartment. I think I'll probably keep them at around three feet.

15th September 2007

9:14pm: Yay!
I had great day today with Shiran!

1st May 2007

12:05am: I don't know
Today was pretty nice. It was one of those days where you feel like you have the whole summer ahead and you will do nice things. The world is full of potential.

On the other hand, I feel kind of burnt out on life. Everything is extremely frustrating. The latest frustrating thing is housing. I'm 32 out of 43. They suggest I start looking off-campus. I want to remain close to campus and options are slim.

I don't really know anymore. I want to get to May 13th so bad.

I need to find some source of inspiration in my life to keep me going.

15th April 2007

1:19pm: I played a concert for Natalie Portman
My friend Emil did a better job of telling this story than I did, so I'm going to paste what he wrote about the concert last night:

I have to write a paper for History of Jazz.

The Context:
Well not really a paper, more of a review for, of course, a jazz show/concert in some form. Though to ensure the class all has shows to attend my teacher has decided to push the project to the last week of school when Jazz Week Boston (a series of shows all over Boston that he helps to organize) is going on.
I, being the diligent on top of it student (<--this is mostly bull shit... mostly) who REALLY wants to get all class work out of the way so I can make sure various organizations are set and other work is done before school ends... and so I can spend time having fun... have decided to try and do this now. This weekend if possible.

Last Night:
I wrote an e-mail to Rob Balchunas. Good kid. Part of my admittedly tiny, but fun, juggling and circus skills club here at Emerson. Also a Jazz trumpet player.
Something along the lines of "do you know of any jazz concerts going on this weekend so I can write this review?"

This afternoon (approximately 3pm):
Rob calls me... "Hey, what are you doing this evening."
"Nothing in particular, why what's up?"
"Well I'm actually playing this evening if you're interested in coming to that. I have a free ticket for you if you are..."
"Yeah man, that would be great to see you play, especially for free if you don't mind my using the ticket..."

And so my mission is set. 8pm, somewhere around Harvard, perfect.
Rob calls me moments before I step onto the T to head out that way. Tells me his father will be waiting in the lobby for me with my ticket and I should just call him when I get close.
Awesome, and off I go to Harvard Square.

I walk out onto Mass Ave from the Harvard T stop and give Mr. Balchunas a call. Unfortunately, he has no idea where the theater is located in relation to where I am, unfortunate news, but I tell him not to worry about it, I will ask around and find my way somehow.

After a series of incorrect directions, walking up and down several blocks of Mass Ave three times, and managing to find every Boston resident who doesn't know the area in any shape or form (despite living down the street apparently) I walk into Sanders Memorial Hall and Theater.
This building is built like a cathedral. Incredibly impressive and absolutely impossible to place an age on. The brick looks new, the wood is old but still beautifully polished, the architecture is almost impossible in some respects, I imagine wood is covering iron; but in appearance the building would fit comfortable into the world 300 years ago....
I make contact with Mr. Balchunas, we have a brief hello, I apologize for being late (I feel slightly sub-par for my appearance is shabby and the crowd around me is nicely dressed). We walk up and sit in the balcony of this impressive structure, overlooking a wooden stage set up for an orchestra.

My imagination when Rob invited me:
A restaurant or pub. Maybe a small theater. An amateur quintet still working their way to finding that heart throbbing groove, but fun and exciting none-the-less.

The situation was at this point almost beyond comprehension; I had no idea what was going on.

The Show Begins:
The Harvard Alumni Band. “Ah!” I am starting to understand. This is all Harvard based stuff. That explains the posh building, the dressed people, the formal appearance of the players.
They play poorly. Even the soloists are bland and uninteresting with no manipulation of rhythm. I start to see that perhaps this evening will be amateur despite the setting. Alumni’s finish their piece, and the student “Sunday Jazz Band” comes on. This, like the alumni band is a 16 piece orchestra with a line of trumpets, a line of trombones, and a line of Saxophones, supported by a three piece rhythm section; piano, bass and drums.

Rob is in the Sunday Band with the trumpets, I am excited to see him play.

They play. I must say I am impressed. They certainly are better than the alumni band, and though their soloists are still struggling to find their way they play well and end strong.

They invite someone to play with them, an older looking bald fellow with a very shiny trumpet. I don’t quiet make the connection with the name until I look at the program.
The bald man playing a 5 minute solo is suddenly Brian Lynch, and I realize I’m looking at a person who has literally played with the best, and won the Grammy’s to prove it…

I’m slightly in shock, but it wears away quickly as he walks off stage after the single number.

A Sextet of students takes his place playing a seemingly remixed version of Green Chimneys, which is absolutely impressive. I see incredible potential in the young men playing on stage. The trumpet player especially almost rivals Lynch’s solo of the previous piece.

They finish. The full “Monday Jazz Band” comes onto stage, another 16 piece orchestra, and play the second Charles Mingus piece of the evening, with a variety of solos the best of which was a collective improvisation between piano and drums.


I turn to the next page in the program.

I suddenly realize what this evening is all about. The place, the people, the dress, and the potential price of the ticket which was given to me for free.

Eddie Palmieri accompanied by Brian Lynch and the Monday band will honor us by playing 6 pieces.

My jaw must have bounced off the floor, I almost did not believe it. One of the most incredible arrangers from both the jazz and Latin worlds is going to be playing on stage in front of me.

Second Half:
The remaining hour of the show is a blur. There are no words for the quality of playing and rhythm that I witnessed live this evening. Lynch lived up to a long reputation, launching himself into solos with vigor, accompanied by the vibrant piano of Mr. Palmieri himself.

And the students that played with them, truly amazing. If there is a moment in which to play your best, on stage with two incredible, world renowned, Grammy winning musicians is most definitely it. They took the challenge head on,

and won.

The concert itself was awe inspiring, truly the most exciting musical performance I’ve ever witnessed.

As we were walking out of the theater, Mr. Balchunas gestures over his shoulder…
Five feet from us is standing Miss Natalie Portman…
We are both confused but somewhat overcome with the awe that accompanies seeing a celebrity, talented or not.

We walk down the stairs with her and meet Rob in the Lobby.

We yell at Rob about a)how amazing that all was, b)the fact he didn’t tell us what we were going to see, and c)that if he looked over my right shoulder he might find something interesting.

Rob is mentally freaking out, but keeps an incredible cool façade about the celebrity he is realizing just watched him play.

Natalie Portman crossed the room and due to the flow of traffic bumps directly into Rob. Life is good for Rob.

I proceed to call any jazz lovers in my life and brag like crazy, come home, sit down, maintain an intense excitement over what I just witnessed (the music, not Ms. Portman, a crush for whom wore off at age 13, though it was a nice cap to the experience) and right this note.

The best Saturday evening I’ve had in a long while? Perhaps.
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